Are You a Victim?
Over the years, I have come to learn that I do not have to apologize to people for asking them to treat memine with respect. Because apologizing ratifies the negative behavior,basically says that it’s okay. That beats the purpose.
I have come to realize that many times, I have been the victim, not necessarily because the other person was a practicing bully, but because I did not observe my own boundaries.
My gadgets have been broken because I feared that saying no would make the other person feel bad. My time has been wasted because I feared that if I didn’t entertain the other person, they’d feel badhave a certain opinion about me. My heart has been broken many times because I feared that if I didn’t avail it in a certain way, someone would feel badperhaps reject me. I have anyway been rejected,my time inadequately compensated.
Then I began saying no,my gadgets started lasting longer. I began saying nofound more time for meaningful, satisfying, fulfilling, productiveeven profitable things, not to mention peace of mind – away from all the idle chatterentertaining, away from all the big deals for small fees, away from all the emotionally draining engagements.
I have experienced a certain refreshment saying nodoing the right thing, the good thing for memine, sometimes just for me, because anyway, even with all the sacrifices, I still didn’t get the acceptance I so deeply coveted.
So I accepted me. I accepted that I was enoughdid not need external validation. I accepted God’s version of meHis blessings on me. I accepted all my wonderful abilitiesstopped dimming my light for fear of making others feel bad when I shine. I let go of the negative company,no longer begged for anyone’s friendship or company. If you want to stay, stay; if you want to go, go; but just so you know, I’m not a contortionist. I let go of the stinging mask that said that being number 2 was comfortable.
I received the liberty that comes with breathing free, sitting settled, shining a little,influencing a little. I may be a little light that can be hidden under a bushel, small, but if I refuse the bushel business, I can enjoy my light more,together with others as well. I might be a small grain of salt, but if I give uplose my taste, I won’t be even one bit effective in anything, in any way, to any one.
So here’s to being saltlight, it’s way better than apologizingreceiving a sorry pat on the back.