The other day, I was washing dishes after a nice ugali meal. The sufuria that had been used to make the ugali was in the sink, and thankfully, had water. The water had already softened the dried flour/mukuro 🙂 and so it was relatively easy to clean it up.
As I cleaned the sufuria, I thought about how helpful that water had been. The water had just been sitting in the sufuria for all that time, seemingly doing nothing, but actually working wonders, which would then make my work much easier.
I thought about the marriage relationship… and how, well, you know, some things need a bit of preparation. And I could see very clearly how hard it would be to get some things done if there had been no prior preparation. It would be like trying to wash that ugali sufuria without having first filled it with water, which would then make the washing process easier.
The water may not seem to be doing much, it seems pretty idle actually. But then I thought about friendships. Or relationships in general. And how we don’t keep in touch with each other, and then when a crisis strikes, we call upon our friends. They may come and help, but it will be a much harder experience than if we had kept in touch.
Or how we don’t keep in touch with our colleagues from high school or college, and then all of a sudden start sending messages of ‘Hi, dear, ….” inviting them to join our wedding committee. It doesn’t matter how many ‘dears’ you put in that message, it’s simply just like pouring a lot of water to a very dry ugali sufuria. It’s gonn’ be hard, my fren.
Or how we don’t keep in touch with our parents and then expect their help and support when we hit a hard spot. They’ll help, of course, they’re our parents, but what’s the condition of their heart as they do so? Aren’t they hurt, sad and lonely?
Or yes, even our children. We see them as beings to order around and ensure that our lines have been towed… until we need their help, support or collaboration in something, and we can’t help but notice the look of pain in their eyes when we momentarily treat them with kindness as we seek their help.
Although I washed that sufuria and have since used it a few more times, its image is firmly imprinted in my mind, and on my heart. That good, old ugali sufuria.