It was raining heavily this evening, and I needed to dash out to get something from the shop. I knew I wanted to make an Mpesa withdrawal, but I figured that I didn’t really have to have my ID, because, well, I have withdrawn from that particular shop many times.
When I got there, I requested to withdraw a certain amount. He agreed. He asked whether I had my ID, I said I’d forgotten it in the rush to get out of the house. He said that he couldn’t let me withdraw because I didn’t have my ID and that he’d already had his account blocked for a month for allowing that to happen with someone else.
I pleaded. I told him that I have withdrawn there many times, and that I could bring my ID in the morning as proof, but that at this time, surely, I would need to hurry back home to attend to the evening duties. Please. What other proof would he want? I’d give it.
He stayed silent for long. He wasn’t going to give in to my pleas. No. Zip. Zilch. So I turned to walk away, the classic move when ‘bargaining’. He said, ‘pole’. I guess he felt bad for me. I know he knows me. I know he knows I’ve withdrawn there many times.
I walked out, stood at the door, wondering where else to go and try to withdraw at this hour. I shook my head in disbelief. He couldn’t let me withdraw. He knows me.
And I got a little angry. At myself, mostly. Why do I allow others to make withdrawals from my life when they don’t have the ‘ID’ to do so? Why do I bend over backwards and accommodate people in my business even when it’s not in my favor? Why do I allow people to get away with stuff in my business and in my life?
Yes, I need the money, but at what cost? The Mpesa guy definitely needed the profit from my transaction, but it was more profitable for him to keep running his business and not risk that for a little profit. Whoever really needed to withdraw would get their ID and go back. They would do things right. There are rules and boundaries to be observed.
Yet as girls, many times, we allow withdrawal from our accounts before marriage. We allow people to walk all over us and get what they want so that we can get a little affirmation here and there. We need to know our value, and not give it away so easily, so inappropriately.
I was disappointed about not withdrawing, but 2 things are clear. I definitely respect that Mpesa guy who cannot be swayed. He held on to his value even though he’d have made some profit.
In the same way, I choose to drop my leniency when it comes to matters of value. It’s ‘either-or’, not a matter of accommodation and being liked. If someone needs what I have to offer, they’ll get it if they go about it the right way: Make a deposit, pay the agreed amount, stick to the agreements, stick to professional hours, and don’t try to arm-twist me. No more lowering costs and bending over backwards doing cartwheels. I retain my value and offer it in peaceable, profitable situations.
And on a life note, as girls, we should hold on to our bodies until God has rightfully blessed that union in marriage. No man will respect a girl who just gives ‘it’ away. If he’s the real deal, and if he’s the one, he’ll go back for his ‘ID’. Don’t let any amount of persuasion or bargaining gimmicks dissuade you from holding on to your value. Nothing can take the place of the ID in an Mpesa transaction, and nothing should take the place of the place of the ‘ID’ in your life. You are precious. Hold on to your value. Don’t even give snippets of ‘boobage’, ‘curvage’, ‘silhouette manenos’, ‘second base manenos’ and whatever else as you wait for the promised ‘ID’. The Mpesa guy didn’t allow me to withdraw and take my ID in the morning for proof. Neither should you.
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