It’s Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life you didn’t Choose
In a fun, witty but very precise way, Melanie talks about the hardships we all face in life. They are different, yes, but they are painful nevertheless. She talks about the different emotions that we go through and some of the reactions that people around us have.
She talks about how to handle some of the questions we get from people during hard times.
“It’s hard, these routine questions, because in our culture, most of the time, people don’t really want to know. So it’s important to figure out who’s asking and whether they’re worth the emotional energy. If they’re asking because you have a good relationship and they truly want to know and help, then go with some honesty. Let them know you’re hurting and how yeah, heck yeah, they can totally bring you a latte and that sounds great. If they’re someone you don’t know that well and they’re just asking because of some weird Western cultural tradition in which we ask meaningless questions and go through the motions of politeness, then no, you don’t owe them answers. They aren’t awful; they’re just performing a dance by rote.”
She also gives a list of 100 things that one can do to help someone who’s going through a hard situation. Small creative things like sending a comforting Bible verse or sending a funny ecard; to even bigger things like taking them dinner or doing their laundry. Practical help, emotional moral support. Like just being present.
I have enjoyed reading this book, and it is one I will refer to often. I would definitely recommend it to friends who are going through a difficult time.