It is quite easy to deflate a tire, all you need is to move a small pin to the side, and the air gets out quite fast. It however takes a very long time to inflate the same tire back to its original position.
And so it is with relationships. It is very easy to break a relationship. A relationship that has existed for years can be broken within minutes. It takes very little to break the trust that has existed for a long period of time. A little can change a whole lot of things.
When we get a job, it is usually an answer to very many prayers. Prayers that our applications will go through, prayers that we’ll be called for an interview, prayers that we’ll pass all the interviews, prayers that we’ll get the job as well as a good salary and good working conditions.
When we finally get the job, we are usually exhilarated, really grateful to God for the awesome opportunity and provision. But then with time, as we get used to our new job, it loses its awe and wonder, and we begin to see what’s not working in our favor.
We begin to complain about our colleagues and their actions, forgetting how long it took to build rapport and relationships with them. We complain about the salary, not remembering that we were at point zero before getting that job. We complain about the working hours, totally oblivious about our desire to have a purposeful and meaningful engagement in life.
And then, sometimes, in a fit of emotional rage, we walk out. Sometimes that is preceded by a resignation letter with a short notice, and sometimes it is not. We bring those relationships to a sour end when we walk out, and we leave the place in a stranded manner. We forget all the investment that has been put in us in order to succeed in that place, and we think about only ourselves and our hurts and pains. We forget that our departure would affect not only the work, but our colleagues too. We forget, also, that it would affect our CV and future engagements with our previous job, bosses and colleagues. It would affect our future recommendations. It would change a lot.
Leaving well entails a smooth, amicable process of trying to resolve issues before moving on. It means clarifying what the problem would be in order to cause such discomfort. It means discussing the work troubles as well as the relational challenges, and trying to look for a solution and a peaceful way forward. It means respecting the other party enough to give them reasons for your intended departure. It means trying to stay on a little longer trying to resolve the issues. It means training someone to take over after you, and giving a candid exit interview. It means holding back your emotions and not hurling insults or negative words to or about your current place of work and colleagues. It means prayerfully considering your situation, as well as what your colleagues may be going through, in order to make rational, objective decisions. It means not walking out in a huff, leaving everyone disillusioned. It means knowing that your actions will affect your future, and preserving your respect as well.
If I had another chance of difficulty, I would use it to critically evaluate myself and my input, as well as the feedback I would receive. I would try to do better all round, as well as resolve issues. I would try to protect relationships as much as possible, knowing that they are the most precious possessions on this earth, and knowing that work never ends anyway. I would try to seek guidance on what I would do better in my next place. I would try to give a good, adequate notice to allow my employer to come to terms with my departure and make appropriate plans. I would try to finish well and give the next person a safe landing. I would try to control my emotions and not let them get the better of me, causing me to do and say things that I would later regret. I would pray long and hard, and seek extensive guidance and wisdom before making a move.
And I believe I would finish well. And I hope that you would too, after reading this.