What is self-esteem? It has been said that someone’s self-esteem can be high or low, but what causes each? One of my studies brought me to some findings, which I find consistent with the experiences of my life.
I grew up as a bright young kid, but one who got to see her dad rarely. Although I had many good things in my life, I sort of concentrate on the one thing I didn’t have much of, and that was a dad.
This got me to try and cover up in many ways, but really the problem did not go away. I thought I was unlovable and undesirable. I think I must have projected that image because that’s the feedback I got – and I think it affected me more because I opened my hart wide to receive what I thought I deserved.
Even when people genuinely loved me, I didn’t take it at face value; I always thought they had ulterior motives which were not good.
It was quite a bit into my life when I began knowing that I didn’t have to let my past affect my present or my future. I learnt that God could heal my wounds and make me whole. That God could take my burnt ashes, the burnt ashes of my heart and dreams – and give me instead a garland of praise and a crown of joy.
Slowly by slowly I started accepting His love, although I must admit that it was not easy to develop trust in Him. With time, I discovered that God’s word already declared God things about my past, present and future. He had already forgiven me, loved me before I knew, and promised me that He had good plans for me, promised to never leave nor forsake me.
This He had already done. I already was worth to Him lots before I knew it, even when I disdained myself so. He didn’t give up on me, He kept on loving me. He still loves me, and will always and forever unconditionally love me.
This definitely boosts my self-esteem, especially because I see myself through His eyes. I think God-esteem is the best esteem ever.
What do you think?